Energy

Really low energy today - although I slept well, I had quite bad night sweats again. That, combined with a return of some of the pain ( not as bad as before but still there) makes me think that the abscess is still there - I suppose that the CT scan on Friday will tell. I'm beginning to think that it would be ironic if, after all this to-ing and fro-ing over the chemo, it ended up that I couldn't have it simply because the abscess wasn't sorted...

Today it feels like I'm just worn out from all the thinking.

My mood also hasn't been helped by the fact that the ( freshly changed) bag leaked on me 5 minutes before I was supposed to be going to see my GP to get a sicknote and prescription this morning. Much swearing and rushing around had a new bag on me in record time and I got to see the doc because he was running late anyway.

However, as soon as I got home, the bag leaked again! I've been trying to maintain a zen attitude to this today as practice if I do decide to go for the chemo and have to have the bag for the next 6 months. Not easy though.

I have a feeling that today's leakages are caused by a blockage ( which I think has cleared now). That's when your system hasn't sufficiently processed food by the time it's gone through you so it just blocks the stoma. (It's the reason I have to avoid sweetcorn and nuts.) Must remember to chew...

Anyway - I'm going over to J's tonight which will be nice but before that I think I'm going into a bit of purdah. So apologies to anybody who emailed me overnight - I'll get back to you soon.

xx