(Written on 1 December - have decided I need a seperate blogspace for this)
I hope not - but it's looking that way.
Taken ill on a train 3 weeks ago - everybody saying that it was just an age/diet/stress thing. Took advantage of my Health Insurance ( wouldn't we all actually?) and saw the consultant tonight. Found a growth - gobstopper size.
Bowel cancer? Could well be. MRI scan ( check for other growths) and CT scan ( if it is, has it spread?) next week. Colonoscopy the week after.
Called my mum. Felt the need to protect her from this - she wants to talk to my middle brother about it - they're close - but I don't want a flood of sympathetic calls. And I want to tell my younger brother with whom I'm close. But not yet. No-one else yet.
Except J. My best friend and lover. I told her.
She was great. Tough and loving.
Had some toast later - and some red wine. And this Elbow song came on:
Puncture Repair
I leaned on you today
I regularly hurt but never say
I nearly wore the window through
Where was air sea rescue?
The cavalry with tea and sympathy
You were there
Puncture repair
I leaned on you today
I regularly hurt but never say
You patched me up and sent me on my way
I leaned on you today
Going to go in to work tomorrow. Nowt else to be done
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