Reading

This Rest Of Your Life Thing is really peculiar. On the one hand, I've been feeling a bit odd, sort of disconnected and panicky this week. J my counsellor and I have talked about it a lot - it almost feels Existential - which would make some sense. I'm worried about my colonoscopy ( delayed now until August) and frustrated that I can't get myself fitter. It's like my life has a kind of judder in it at the moment. ( And of course, as Jules has just discovered, the cancer thing or its possibility is always there - usually hidden, sometimes less so.)

On the other hand, I've just finished reading my first proper book since I discovered I had cancer more than eighteeen months ago. It's been so frustrating continuing to see or hear about all these amazing books, buying them and then watching them pile up unread or partially read just because I couldn't concentrate on them. ( Physical or psychological? - I'm really not sure)

But this week, I did it. So thankyou Lionel Shriver for your amazing novel We Need To Talk About Kevin.

Catch Up

I just realised that it's been a week since I updated this. It wasn't actually conscious but I am beginning to wonder whether I still want to be regularly updating a cancer-related blog when I'm trying to move on from that. I won't just drop it though - but I may think about moving over to the old blog for day to day stuff ( have to update the design a bit though!) and just keep this one for occasional health updates. I'll let you all know if I do though.

Anyway. It's been a busy week with work but my health seems to have been OK generally - some days have more trips to the toilet than others or I'm a bit more sore but all manageable.

Nice to get an email from Ian my Cancer Voice. He was really helpful when I was deciding about chemo. I think I might find out about becoming one myself - it feels like there has to come a point when one feels that cancer is more er.. behind you than in front, if you see what I mean.

Pacing

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good so I decided to make a start on weeding the back garden with a view to moving on to mowing the lawn. I very quickly discovered how much I still have to pace myself - I was tired and achy ( and sore at the hernia site) after about 10 mins of weeding. OK - they were big weeds but still...

In one way, it's really frustrating - I hate it that it all looks so untidy and I feel like I'm letting things slip.

But I am NOT going to mess this up now by being silly. So the lawn will have to wait - along with the rest of the weeds.

Exhibition

Well - here it is - your own virtual tour. Took us a while to set up but I hope you'll agree - it looks pretty good!

Latitude

Friday night at last. Kebab time. ( It's the County Durham version of Margherita Time...)

Loads to do this weekend. Putting the exhibition up tomorrow morning and then my Intermediate Documentary Film Course starts in the afternoon. Busy Busy.

My tummy's been upset for a few days - not sure what that's about. Manageable - but I wish it wasn't happening.

But heh! Now there's Latitude! J asked me today if I'd like to go with her. Like a shot!

Race For Life

My friend S and her daughter A are doing the Race for Life in Durham on July 8th. It's a cause close to my er.. heart.

Blue

Door
Originally uploaded by Menage a Moi

In the pandemonium of image
I present you with the universal Blue
Blue an open door to soul
An infinite possibility
Becoming tangible

Derek Jarman - Blue ( 1993)

These are the images I'm going to use for the joint exhibition with S at the weekend.

Cheers!

You know, I think I almost enjoy J's birthday as much as I enjoy my own. Almost.

We had a great time in Newcastle. Shopping. A posh drink ( or two) . Dinner. Hotel. Culture.

It was really nice just to chill together. And laugh.

I'm feeling good at the moment.

End of the week....

...and finished in what is beginning to become the traditional Friday night style with World of Warcraft and a kebab. ( OK - it's boy thing...)

I hada low point last night when I got back from London - tiredness really I think - but I've been OK today. Work has been steady but not frantic and healthwise I'm fine - nothing special to report at all really.

J is over in the morning. It's her birthday on Monday so we're spending the weekend together in Newcastle as a treat. A chance to chill - and I suspect there'll be Big Dinners and Shopping too.