Floating

Well, I'm still not sure whether the handwritten blog idea works, although all of the feedback has been positive. I'll probably try it on occasions when I'm away.

But I'm at home today - just back from Chemo XII (That's 12/30 -or 2/5ths… ) I'm hoping for an easier ride than last weekend, especially as I'm off to Hereford to see my mum tomorrow - and then straight to work in Brum on Monday… ( I talked to my boss on Wednesday about all the travelling and we've agreed that I'm going to schedule in some Home Weeks from now on. My earlier blog refers…)


It'll be great to see mum and G and my brother O ( who lives nearby) - mum's been really suffering from sciatica recently and often sounds quite down when I speak to her. We were supposed to be going to Stratford Upon Avon to see a production of Romeo and Juliet tomorrow - but we've postponed. We'll do it again when we both feel better in the autumn.

Went up to Newcastle for a haircut and facial last night - came out after three hours floating on air! I'm going to keep on with that - it makes me feel so much better. Treated myself to a bag of chips on the way home...

That's about it I think. The garden progresses and blooms ( I'll do a photo next weekend) and I planted my Trachelospermums by the kitchen gate yesterday. Not a moment too soon - they'd been sitting unwatered in my neighbour's front hall for three days!

Oh - and the Rescued Olive looks like it will live. A few green shoots have appeared at the base of the trunk. There won't be much more than that this year, but if it survives the winter, then I think it'll come right next spring.

Home Thoughts From (A) Broad ( Street )

Hmmm..not sure this has worked...

A Better Blog...?

The Godfather!

Hey - guess what? I got a call from my brother A tonight. He and V would like me to be godfather to Benjamin! I'm so chuffed and honoured.

I think I'm more up to the role than last time...

A Study in Taupe...

Well - it's been raining most of the day. Great for the garden ( and the rescued olive tree - more of that in a moment) but not for being outside. So I got the paint roller out and finished the other half of the home office. ( I'd put the desk up and set up the technology earlier in the week. ) I think it looks OK - certainly it was easy to work in on Friday.

So - as you can guess, I'm feeling a lot better today - it seems like the sickness gradually turns to tiredness and then goes. But early yesterday afternoon I felt pretty crap - fortunately it had eased by the time J arrived.

We went to St Chad's College in Durham for the launch of a new anthology, called " North by North East" which was the usual pre-event organisational chaos, but it got there in the end . I got some great pictures.

I'll post them when I get the Macbook back from J at the end of the week. She's on a writing retreat ( sorry - can't get the direct link to work ) in Yorkshire from today (A chance to get her next collection sorted.) and has taken it with her to try out.

The event itself was teeming with Great Northern Poets but we both found it a bit worthy and dull. However, the setting was great - a sort of covered quad.

Oh - and the olive tree. During the break I saw a dry dusty, almost dead little olive tree, baked solid into dry soil in a cracked pot in the corner - definitely on its last legs.

Reader, I liberated it. Now repotted and in my back yard. The patient seems to be doing OK, but I'll keep you posted.

That's when I next see it myself that is. Off to Birmingham again in the morning and then London. Back Wednesday night

Proud

'Feeling pretty grim tonight. For some reason Chemo 11 kicked in almost straight away with nausea and weariness. I've slugged it out with it for most of the evening ( it IS Friday night after all...) but now I'm done in.

I was thinking a bit earlier - you know, I'm actually quite proud of myself for how I'm dealing with all this. You can never know how you're going to be when you have to deal with something like cancer ( I hope that most of you never do - the rest of you know what I mean) and falling to pieces wasn't really ever going to be an option. But still - the hardest bit for me is the daily grind of the cure and I think I'm doing OK. Mostly.

And on that self-congratulatory note, I'm off to me bed.

Eleven

I've just come back from having Chemo XI ( That's 11/30 or 37%). And it's the end of another week.

Sorry there's not been much from me this week - frankly I've been too busy with work, which is a good sign I think. A day in Brum and two in Leeds in the regional office. A much more comfortable office environment than Birmingham and although Brum is nice as a city, I feel more at ease in Leeds.

Work has been hard but stimulating. It's the sort of Friday night where I could just do with a few beers -but I don't think the chemo would like it. So maybe just a small glass of wine later...

Going to go out to the garden now while it's light. More over the weekend.

Oh - a number of people have asked me if I heard this on the radio this morning. I didn't, but it sounds interesting so I'm going to try to catch the repeat.

Bagged Bloke Eats Tomato! World Doesn't End!

It the Salad Season and they've become an obsession.

So - last night I had a thinly sliced big red one! (and a steak...) It was lovely.

No side effects. So far.

(Ed: This is a slow news day, eh...?)

Self Promotion!

Menage a moi
Originally uploaded by Pickersgill Reef.

Taken at Hydrogen Jukebox on Tuesday!

Living Life

So. Saturday morning again. A lovely bright sunny day - one for the Big Hat! I've just had my breakfast out in the garden - it's beginning to look really nice, just how I wanted it. Already I'm thinking of things I'll do differently next year, but it's a good start. One interesting thing that I realised yesterday was that the corner with the bench in it has a curious quietness about it. I hadn't intended it that way but I sort of understand why it's happened. I'm glad it's like that.

Chemo X yesterday. And yes, I finally checked - it is thirty treatments not twenty-four! Damn! So that one was 10/30 or 1/3 ( again...). It's going to be a long summer... Hopefully I'll deal with the nausea a bit better this weekend.

Good work day on London on Thursday - seeing one smallish tender out of the door - and hearing that we've got a pitch for the first one my team put in last week. It's on Monday - so much rushing around to get the team up here ( the job would be NE based...) for then. So many blokes, so many childcare issues to sort.... But the job is worth nearly 1/4 million over two years so it would be great to have. But we're up against some stiff competition. It won't be easy. Going to try to clear my mind of that this weekend.

Came back to a compilation CD from B, J's eldest daughter. Some new music she thought I might like. Isn't that great! She's class - as is her sister ( curently working in Greece) - and of course, their mum! Who will hopefully be up here tonight or in the morning.

And so to my day.

All OK

I'm on the train down to London having seen the ever-jovial Mr B. He said that there's nothing to worry about - my symptoms were not unusual - really just as a result of not using my bottom er..properly for a while. So - although it's not very pleasant, it won't affect the course of my treatment. He'll see me in August and we're on schedule for a late Autumn reconnection . I can't wait!

I'm so relieved - I thought it was probably OK but it's never over till the Fat Man Pokes... ( Actually he's lost some weight...)

So. I'd better do some work finally this week!

Thanks for all your thoughts - it makes a huge difference

Pending

At home this morning waiting for my appointment this afternoon. Nervous. All to say really. Thanks for all the good wishes.

But another great night at The Hydrogen Jukebox last night. J and I provided a muddled sort of teccy support for Sean Burn ( above ) who did an amazing multimedia set. We're hoping to do more of that sort of stuff ourselves with the new macbook. A great set from Jenny Pearden too. She's got an anthology coming out soon - when I find the link, I'll post it.

Oh - and something that astounded me. I was just coming out of the disabled toilets at the Arts Centre ( there's just a bit more room...) when one of the attendants came up to me and said "Those toilets are for disabled people , you know... " I was gobsmacked. All the things I could/should have said - but all I did was mutter " whatever" or something equally lame. But I've marked their card..

Back to J's for cool wine and warm chat.

I'll update on The Other Matter later...

Check Up

I've just heard that Mr Bain my consultant wants to see me on Wednesday. I've had some soreness for the last few weeks so I mentioned the symptoms to my stoma nurse last week and she said she'd raise it with him. I think they may be worried that the abscess has returned - although I don't have a temperature. This is precautionary they say.

But I am worried nonetheless. Things were going so well.

I'm afraid that last night my mind ran riot. Not a good thing to do I know but sometimes the underlying fears just sneak out. Better this morning - it's another sunny day...

I haven't gone to Birmingham today as planned but I still hope get the train down to London on Wednesday evening. Of course, if it's something that needs attention, then I may not go to London at all.

Up and bloody down eh?

Bench!

Not Grimness, nor Technical Ineptitude - nor even Summer Rain was going to stop me putting the last piece of garden furniture in place today...

Slow Monday

I don't know what it is but I've woken up this morning feeling distictly grim - faint, sick and spacy. Feels like a chemo side effect to me but I don't know why it should have chosen today to kick in - I've been pretty much OK over the weekend, although the new antisickness drug they gave me this week hasn't been as good as the one the week before. When I saw Dr Coxon's Registrar this morning ( a nice man - I just didn't catch his name) I mentioned it and he said that the earlier one can cause severe constipation, even for The Bagged like me. So we agreed I'd stay on the current one but could take a bit more if I wanted to - see how that works.

Apart from that they seem happy with my progress, although I have this horrible feeling that actually the treatment will be 30 weeks not 24 which will knock my weekly percentages to pot. I haven't asked, mainly for not wanting to know. But I think it's partly to do with the number of treatments - if I was having monthly chemo it would be 6 X monthly treatments of 5 = 30 but as I'm weekly, 6 months of weekly treatments is only 24 or so - allowing for 5 week months and the like. I suppose I should just ask and get it clarified eh?

Anyway today I feel shite and so Working At Home is er..somewhat flexible. I just need to take it easy today. They'll get the work out of me anyway during the week - Birmingham tomorrow, then London for two days.

Hot Hot Hot

It's been scorching here this weekend! 30 degrees this afternoon! Hope it's been as nice where you are. ( My Australian reader need not comment...) I have to be a bit careful in the sun with the chemo treatment but it's nothing that a big hat and Factor 40 can't deal with.

The Garden Project progresses as you can see. Trellis up and the bed fully planted now. I've moved the table to the other corner ( gets more sun) and have ordered a bench for that space at the end.

I'm really pleased with it. J came over last night and we had a lovely evening out there listening to The Moody Blues ( a long story...) and drinking too much white wine.

It's been a good weekend. Chemo IX on Friday ( that's 9/24 or 3/8ths...) and then up to Newcastle on the train to meet my brother A who was up here for the weekend working. Nice to see him. We began a tentative plan for me to go down and stay with them in August so that I can finally see my new nephew. ( And Natty of course!) I'll probably tack it onto a stay at mum and G's new flat in Cornwall. Hopefully J can come down with me for a few days too.

Side effects are OK this weekend - sort of hard to tell what's chemo and what's hangover actually... Got a check up with Dr Coxon in the morning.

ho hum - I feel a nap coming on...

Anne Armstrong

I don't usually name people on this blog directly but I'd like to on this occasion.

Anne was a colleague at the LSDA when I worked there and was the manager of a large support programme for colleges and other providers. She and I worked very closely together as I ran the regional infrastructure that she needed to deliver her programme. We were very different personalities and didn't always get on, but we always got to where we needed to be in the end. She was completely committed to her work - I'm not always. Maybe that was the difference.

Anne was receiving chemotherapy for breast cancer ( following surgery) during the last year and when I told about my cancer she was incredibly warm and supportive. Her chemo was far more radical than mine but she continued to work as much as possible throughout her treatment. I think it was just her way. When I last saw her, she had heard that she would need further treatment.

While I was away at the conference this week, I heard that Anne had died on Monday.

'God bless...

I've been bloody lucky really, haven't I...?

Hyperlinked!

Well, here we are on Monday morning – back at my post.

It's been a great week off. I feel rested and relaxed - apart from a sore throat. More on that later.

On Saturday I ordered my trellis for the back yard and bought loads of plants. Thing is that the trellis won't arrive till next Saturday so I can't do the fun bit which is actually put the plants in. So, as you saw I just messed around on the mac in the garden instead...

On Sunday morning I painted half the spare room ( which will be my work office once the damn furniture arrives) in er.. taupe . I hate painting (literally like watching paint dry ) but I did it in about an hour. The other half gets done when I get the furniture and can move all the junk from one side of the room to the other.

It was also J's birthday but as she had been invaded by family on Saturday, we'd already agreed to celebrate together later in the week.

Anyway - to start from the beginning:

The whole London trip with J was great .

It started on Wednesday morning with First Class to King's Cross ( including lunch on the train) and then booking into the hotel. Much much shopping later ( including The Apple Shop and Ted Baker ) we got changed and headed off to Koko for The National's gig. This is the fourth time I've seen them and yet again they were superb - a brilliant combination of musicality, poetry, commitment and sly sexiness. The support band Devastations were great too - I already had both their CDs and they were just as good live. J gave the lead singer's moustache a thumbs down though...

Thursday morning was a late breakfast and then off to Jerwood Space ( hiding as I passed my London Office ) to see Iain Forsyth and Jane Pollard's video piece "Walking After Acconci ( Redirected Approaches) " which was really good and also amazingly threatening. Basically it's a piece to camera acted by the rapper Plan B . I don't like his music much but he was superb in this.

Then a quick trip to Tate Modern followed by lunch at the NFT ( Blimey! All these hyperlinks! ) and a nap at the hotel ( Actually I was getting quite tired by then.) before heading off the The Poetry Cafe for J's reading, alongside Bob and Andy with music from Milo, Sean and Kev.

It was a great night and they read really well. J was the best of course - poised, cool sharp and sexy. We had about 30 people show up which was quite good, although, considering that the Poetry Cafe is part of the Poetry Society, the setting is really small and shabbby. They all piled off to the pub afterwards but I was exhausted so went back to the hotel - J arrived back er.. a little later..

Yeah - the tiredness/sickness thing. I mentioned it to the clinic when I had my jab on Friday. Although I've resisted it till now, I asked for some anti sickness tablets and they seem ( so far ) to have really done the job. I've felt much better over the weekend - apart from a sore throat. That could be another side effect I suppose - it's not an infection - my temperature's fine.

So. Off to Brum tomorrow. Three days this time - including the QIA Annual Conference. Be good to see all my ex LSDA colleagues.

Saturday Update

This is just to prove I'm alive and well. Feeling pretty good considering I've now had 8/24 or 1/3rd...

Or could the grin be caused by owning my new Macbook which I used to take this picture and then sent wirelessly from my garden...? I love technology!

My PC is in being upgraded so I'll blog more earlier next week, tell you all about London, my garden, the glorious weather this weekend and how I have spent so much money this week and have loved every pound of it!