Slow

I've been home for more than a week now and am definitely on the mend. The thing is it's not quite as simple as that. I've still got quite a lot of pain in my bottom which is beginning to concern me - not that it's getting any worse, I think - just that it's still there and the codeine has a limited effect. I tried unsuccessfully to talk to the Beating Bowel Cancer Helpline and my own Bowel Care Nurse at the hospital today ( neither available till Friday) and the nurse on the BACUP line was helpful but could only really recommend that if I was concerned I should speak to my GP or consultant. I'll do that if I need to - but I do know that there's a residual fear that it might mean going back in to hospital - and although I wouldn't be silly about that, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that that's not at the back of my mind. I'd much rather sort this out with a bit of advice or some different medication. But for now, I'll leave it ( unless it gets worse ) and talk to Sue the Stoma Nurse about it on Thursday when she visits.

Also still getting very tired from the slightest thing - even writing a letter! That's particularly noticeable over the last two days since I've been looking after myself - everything just takes so much effort. But I'm feeding myself OK and sleeping well ( apart from when the bag calls...) and not getting low in myself.

My friend S came over last night after work - nice to see her for a chat - and also to have saved a couple of jobs to ask her to do - like putting my dustbins out! Although I don't have any pain in the operation scar on my stomach at all, apparently I have to be really careful with lifting things because there's a real risk of hernia.

J is over tomorrow - and then I've got other visitors on Friday.

Oh - and good news in the post today. After about 8 attempts, the well-respected poetry magazine Other Poetry has agreed to publish a ( much edited ) version of one of my poems!

Here it is:

October

and first frost expected

thought lost

etched in laced dreams of glass

edges iced

and a letter to a lover

penned from the front line

ripped open eagerly

as snow falls smiling

I wrote loads of other half poems and notes and ideas while I was in hospital - I'm going to try to make some sense of some of those this week.