Review of the year

It's the last day of the year and so I'm counting my blessings.

In the year I recovered from cancer, I also :

* Appreciated what a great family I have. ( And how much I love them all)

* Made some new friends and learned to value my old ones even more. (Thankyou - you know who you are!)

* Was made redundant. (But got a nice payout.)

* Started a new job. (And discovered that not only am I enjoying something new, but I may be quite good at it!)

* Had my first poem published (In a proper poetry magazine.)

* Learned to love All Things Apple. ( Beware Geeks bearing gifts..)


And there, all the time was J.


Maybe not such an an/nus horribilis after all eh?

Bonding

Al, Moi, Chris and Michael
Originally uploaded by Menage a Moi.

Out last night with friend C and his family to see the new James Bond film and then for a meal. ( This is with him and his sons)

His mum, brother and I are all at various stages of cancer recovery ( current, past, recent respectively) - just goes to show how much of it there is about - and how you can still have a great time without really mentioning it!

Not sure if the new treatments are working yet - maybe I'm less sore but maybe that's wishful thinking.

Lotions for Motions...

Sorry - couldn't resist...

I went to see the doctor this afternoon. He says my soreness might be thrush so I've been given more lotions. There's also a possibility that I've got an abscess but he thinks not.

Funny - this is one of the more minor aliments I've had during the year, but it's also one of the more uncomfortable

Boxing Day

IMG_0741.JPG
Originally uploaded by Menage a Moi.

A lovely evening with J yesterday - as you can see.

Feeling rather uncomfortable today though - the rich food of Christmas makes me very sore - I think I may have to go back to the doctor for more advice.

Christmas Morning...

...and once again, a very Happy Christmas!

Mine's going to be fairly quiet today - J is with her family, but will be over tomorrow. I seem to be up early anyway - not because of any particular Christmas Excitement ( or even better, not because of any discomfort) - I just am.

Still - it's a bit early to put the duck in the oven eh...?

Pass The Parcel

I made an appointment to see my doctor this morning - not because anything was wrong - just that I wanted to check that all the signs and symptoms I've still got are to be expected. He was very reassuring - another person who reminded me that I'm only five weeks after surgery!

Two busy days away this week so far but I took a relaxed attitude to them ( and some very early nights! ) and that seems to be paying off. Today was fairly steady working at home - the annual corporate game of Pass The Parcel where everyone tries to leave you holding a job to do when you get back in the new year….

So - now I'd better get on with trying to feel festive!

Happy Christmas!

...and a great new year to everybody!

I'm sure I couldn't have got through the last one without the love and support of you, my friends and family. So - thank you all!

While I was ill, I also had a lot of help and support from Beating Bowel Cancer and so I've decided that, instead of sending Christmas Cards this year, I'd make a donation to them instead. I'd be delighted if you wanted to do the same.

However, whatever the format of the greeting, my wishes for a great Christmas and a prosperous and healthy new year are just as sincerely meant.

Happy Christmas!

Lots of Love

Simon xx

Taking Time Off

I've been overdoing it. I went out for a drink and a meal with C in Newcastle last night. Had a great time and a good catch up, but by the time I got back to Durham I was in a bad state - a very upset tummy. No taxis to be found at all. Miserable.

In the end, I phoned J and bless her, she drove up from her house and picked me up, took me home and made me a cuppa. I feel a lot better this morning - and a bit silly. But as she says, that's what friends are for.

My own fault - a big meal and a bit more wine than I'm used to drinking and , well, frankly the combination proabably made me forget that I still have to look after myself.

Going to take it very easy today. Christmas on hold till tomorrow.

On the Cards

Funny how this blog is getting harder to write. I've never quite/just wanted it to be a catalogue of ailments and My Cancer stories - or a diary. But for a long time it's just "worked" - a mixture of those things.

I don't even know who all my readers are now. Maybe I never did - a lot of you are there but silent. Your Christmas Cards tell me that.

Talking of cards - I took the last of my Get Well Cards down tonight. I think all this might be part of my return to Normality - I'm not sure I want to be on display like this. Not as a Cancer Survivor - or whatever I am.

But as me.

Sparkling

Back from two separate trips to London/Birmingham tonight. It was tiring but I really only started feeling really uncomfortable on the train home this evening. ( I'll spare you the gory details.) I also discovered that I still have to really careful with what I carry - the muscles in my tummy were really sore after carting my laptop bag around all day.

But at least when I got home the house was sparkling. The Merry Maids had been!

Slowdown

My new porridge and stodge regime seems to be working. Things are a lot easier now - but I think I'm going to try to make an appointment to see my GP anyway before Christmas just to check that he agrees that all is OK.

And at work also a feeling that the Christmas Slow Down has started already! Ironic, given that I've only been back at work a week! Of course, it's all relative - I'm in Birmingham tomorrow and London on Wednesday...

Dead Poets

To the Colpitts Christmas Party with J last night - and the Dead Poets Competition. Basically - dress up as a Dead Poet, read a bit of their work and challenge the others to guess who you are. (I won it two years ago as Thomas Hardy.)

( A note to overseas readers: This sort of thing passes for Fun amongst the English Middle Classes…)

This year, J went as Anne Sexton and I went as Olip Mandelshtam - and we came second! ( Bit miffed to be beaten by Kingsley Amis actually - but we were magnanimous - and quietly bitter - in defeat.)

A freezing cold wait for a taxi in Durham but eventually home - where we were both overtaken by bad stomach cramps! Bad wine? Sausage rolls? Who knows? But not pleasant at all.

We woke late and gingerly this morning to something near recovery and then went off for a lovely walk in the cold autumn sun . I was very tired at the end of what was probably a 2 mile walk and my tummy was quite sore, but at least I know I can do that sort of thing again. It's all about retrieving normality isn't it?

I did have all sorts of plans for shopping and stuff today but I've decided to take it easy today and try to start fresh early tomorrow.

Feeling Better

After last night's debacle, I actually had an undisturbed night once I went to bed at about 1.00am. Everything seems much more settled this morning.

Dry toast for breakfast, I think!

PS: Looks like there's a slightly different version of the blog software now. Seems OK so far.

One Year On

When I started this blog over a year ago I said that it wouldn't always be nice. I've kept it fairly safe for a long time I know.

But that All Bran thing today was SO stupid! I've spent most of the evening on the loo and in a lot of discomfort - not much expectation of a full sleep tonight. Only myself to blame but I still feel let down - Lord knows by whom. The Powers That Be...?

Tomorrow is the first anniversary of being told I had cancer. J and I in that little room with Mr B. The whole treatment thing laid out. And now, a year later I've done it - not always with good grace - but I did it. Radiotherapy. Surgery. Ileostomy. More surgery. Chemotherapy. Reversal.

Maybe that's why it's so hard to be stoic at the moment - I want to get on with my life now. I expect that I should be able to - and yet I know there's so much more to go.

This is the hardest bit of all - trying to return to full normality. Being patient.

Occupation

Avoid All Bran! It's Bad Thing for Such as I!

I thought it would make things er.. easier. It didn't.

ho hum - you live and learn...

Preoccupation

Well - morning came d*mn quick today! I slept the sleep of the er.. sleepy.

Pretty busy working at home today, but I've just realised that I've NOT spent most of the day pre-occupied with when I'm next going to the toilet! Has to be a good sign..?

And now it's teatime and I suddenly feel a bit low. Tiredness I suppose.

Birmingham

Well - I made it - there and back. As far as I could tell I was functioning OK - and I was physically and mentally comfortable. But it's hard nonetheless - I'm paid well to do a difficult and stressful job and that doesn't go away. Good to see colleagues though and I think they were pleased to see me.

The trick now is to try to not get totally immersed in it this week - I AM trying to be part-time after all! Try to make it through gently till Christmas. ( Remind me about that! )

Glad of white wine tonight though!

Back to Work Again

Blimey! I'm exhausted! All I've done is checked and responded to three weeks' worth of emails and had a long catch up call with A my other Director colleague. I'd just forgotten how mentally tiring it can be as well as physically - and how it can suck you in to doing too much too soon.

I also had to pop up to Newcastle to get a jacket and trousers for work tomorrow so I suppose that might have contributed. I won't even tell you my current waist size - apparently abdominal distention is a common, and usually temporary, side effect of this surgery. I do recall having it last time but of course I wasn't trying to fit into work clothes so quickly then.

So - Birmingham for the day tomorrow. A 5.00 am start. I should probably go to bed now!

Liver Scan Clear!

I just had a call from Mr B my consultant. Really nice of him to take the trouble to call me - and on a Sunday as well! As I'd already guessed, he said that the liver scan that I had last week was clear. He also said that he'd been talking to one of the stoma nurses who I'd phoned for advice last week and wanted to check how I was. He said that it sounded like everything was going well and that the few things I was getting a bit concerned about were all to be expected.

A quiet day here - torrential rain and wind makes it difficult for me to get up the energy for the walk I'd promised myself...

Home Alone

Mum and G went home earlier this morning and later, J. She and I went into Durham this morning to try to get me some new trousers for work ( I've er... temporarily put on a bit of weight and I just need to be comfortable at the moment ) but there wasn't anything I liked and anyway it was chocca with Christmas Shoppers. ( That's it - I'm doing it all online this year! )

Last night we went to hear Elaine Feinstein read in Durham - she was excellent. Mum was hoping to come but her leg is still playing up and it would have been a bit too much for her.

So now I'm at home on my own - looking forward to a quiet weekend and will decide tomorrow how, if and to what extent I'm going to go back to work next week. I want to start re-engaging with it but I don't really want to dive straight back in at the deep end.

But I'm definitely feeling a lot better now - I think that I improve when I'm moving around a bit more. It's not very comfortable trying to hold off going to the loo so often but it is beginning to get easier. I felt I had a positive bounce in my step in Durham earlier!

The other thing I've just realised is that I've been keeping this blog for a year as of yesterday! Amazing. At some point soon I feel that I have to decide how long I'm going to keep this particular blog regularly updated. When do I decide that I'm postcancer and so a cancerblog isn't really appropriate.? ( Sad to say, I think I've got the blogging bug so I won't stop doing it - I'll either just resume the old one or start something new.)

Certainly not quite yet - maybe the new year?