When I was in hospital, my colleagues K and M bought me two potted roses. When I finally sorted out the backyard I planted them out. I was really pleased to see them take and flower. Beautifully as you can see.
I was reminded to tke this pictiure as I went out for a catch up drink in Newcastle with K last night.( M couldn't join us as she's flying off on holiday today) A nice chatty evening.
I'd been getting some pain from a sore ankle during the day and it got worse when I was out last night. By the time I got home it was excruciating and I had a really bad night not able to sleep with it. (No idea what had caused it - I don't remember twisting it or anything) At about 4.00am I took a couple of strong painkillers and when I woke at 6.30 the pain was all gone! No trouble with it at all today. - no idea what that was about..
I asked the nurses at Chemo XV ( that's 15/30 - halfway!) about it and they had no idea either but didn't think it was chemo related. Just one of those things.
I suppose I should feel more elated about getting to halfway with the treatment but I'm afraid I can't . It's just dull.
But it's not going to be a dull weekend. J and I are driving down to Weybridge tomorrow for nephew B's christening on Sunday. I'm a godfather. Really looking forward to seeing all the family - although I'm afraid mum's not going to be able to make it - her back is just too painful to do the trip. A real pity. But we'll all take loads of pictures for her.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
New Acquisition
(Click on the photo to see the full story... )
Well - this is it. A 20" iMac. Practically every bell and whistle on it that you can imagine and a big brother for the macbook. I could try to justify it as a purchase but no - I won't - it's just a great bit of technology and I wanted it.
( Don't get me wrong, I know there is an alternative. )
Apart from that distraction, a solid day working at home. It's still very hot and that does slow me but I'm in the manageable part of my weeklychemocycle.
Better go and check on the iMac again...
Well - this is it. A 20" iMac. Practically every bell and whistle on it that you can imagine and a big brother for the macbook. I could try to justify it as a purchase but no - I won't - it's just a great bit of technology and I wanted it.
( Don't get me wrong, I know there is an alternative. )
Apart from that distraction, a solid day working at home. It's still very hot and that does slow me but I'm in the manageable part of my weeklychemocycle.
Better go and check on the iMac again...
Monday, July 24, 2006
Monday Evening
Not a particularly good day really. Although I've done a day's work ( including a trip up to Newcastle for a meeting) I've felt pretty grim again all day. It feels like it did last week in the heat and it has been very hot here again. I'm going to try and stick it out this week though - see if I can work through it. I've got meetings in Leeds tomorrow so that means a fairly early start - but I'll try and get home early.
Of course my day wasn't helped by the fanbelt on my car snapping while I was up in Newcastle, necessitating a train/taxi home and then back later in the day to pick the car up from the garage. And while I was out, they tried to deliver my New Acquisition that I've been waiting for for a fortnight. I'll get it delivered again on Wednesday - that should cheer me up!
And now, when I went to wash before bed, the water pressure has dropped to a trickle!
Humph.
Of course my day wasn't helped by the fanbelt on my car snapping while I was up in Newcastle, necessitating a train/taxi home and then back later in the day to pick the car up from the garage. And while I was out, they tried to deliver my New Acquisition that I've been waiting for for a fortnight. I'll get it delivered again on Wednesday - that should cheer me up!
And now, when I went to wash before bed, the water pressure has dropped to a trickle!
Humph.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
6 months...
...today since my op. It sort of feels longer than that - but also like yesterday.
I'm seeing Mr Bain on 2 August and I'm going to try to pin him down to a reconnection date later this year - even if it means I don't do the full chemo.
Anyway. I took this today on a visit to the quaysides at Gateshead and Newcastle with J and her friends T and M and their children. It was a lovely day out - warm and sunny and a brilliant exhibition of Sam Taylor Wood's images.
They all came back to mine afterwards for my second barbecue of the weekend - all very relaxed and easy. I'd felt pretty crap during the morning but it's eased during the day and, although I'm tired now, I feel fine.
All ready for work in the morning.... : (
I'm seeing Mr Bain on 2 August and I'm going to try to pin him down to a reconnection date later this year - even if it means I don't do the full chemo.
Anyway. I took this today on a visit to the quaysides at Gateshead and Newcastle with J and her friends T and M and their children. It was a lovely day out - warm and sunny and a brilliant exhibition of Sam Taylor Wood's images.
They all came back to mine afterwards for my second barbecue of the weekend - all very relaxed and easy. I'd felt pretty crap during the morning but it's eased during the day and, although I'm tired now, I feel fine.
All ready for work in the morning.... : (
Saturday, July 22, 2006
First Yard Barbecue
This is Friday night. S and her daughter A ( middle) came over for a barbie while S ( the other one) and G and H were here from Athens. It was a great evening - once 'd got the d*mn barbecue lit and discovered that I also have the Grumpy Bloke Lighting A Barbecue gene.. ( We're best just left alone...)
A nice way to ease away from Chemo XIV ( That's 7/15ths or 47%...) earlier on in the day.
I'm feeling much better than I did a few days ago - mainly I think because the weather has broken. ( It's warming up again now though) Feeling very tired today after the chemo though - although that could just be after two days of visitors! I'm now an expert on Shakira, Kelly Clarkson ( who is neither Kelly leBrock or Kelly Holmes I now know...) and The Black Eyed Peas. Go on - ask me anything!
So a restful day today.
Oh - and Gadget of the Day: ceedo ...
A nice way to ease away from Chemo XIV ( That's 7/15ths or 47%...) earlier on in the day.
I'm feeling much better than I did a few days ago - mainly I think because the weather has broken. ( It's warming up again now though) Feeling very tired today after the chemo though - although that could just be after two days of visitors! I'm now an expert on Shakira, Kelly Clarkson ( who is neither Kelly leBrock or Kelly Holmes I now know...) and The Black Eyed Peas. Go on - ask me anything!
So a restful day today.
Oh - and Gadget of the Day: ceedo ...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Hot
I wonder how many UK blogs have the title " Hot" today...?
Anyway - it is. Very. Just seen that parts of the UK were hotter than Athens today. Ironic that - my old university friend S ( another one!) and her children are over from Athens at the moment seeing her parents - they're coming up to stay with me for a couple of days tomorow.
That partly accounts for the tidying up I've done today. But not entirely - for some reason I've sorted and tidied all sorts of other things I 've been meaning to do for ages, not least of all my study ( I may rename it my "studio" when I get my New Acquisition. More on that soon...) which was a tip and now is tidy and accessible.
I've tried to stay in as much as possible, although I did have my lunch in the shade of the yard (cooler than the house at that point) and I definitely feel much better. Not sure what to do about work tomorrow ( I'd already booked Friday off to spend the day with S and the kids ) - I think I'll take it as sick leave but dip surreptitiously in and out of the emails during the day. The weather is expected to break - and then heat up again for the weekend.
Anyway - it is. Very. Just seen that parts of the UK were hotter than Athens today. Ironic that - my old university friend S ( another one!) and her children are over from Athens at the moment seeing her parents - they're coming up to stay with me for a couple of days tomorow.
That partly accounts for the tidying up I've done today. But not entirely - for some reason I've sorted and tidied all sorts of other things I 've been meaning to do for ages, not least of all my study ( I may rename it my "studio" when I get my New Acquisition. More on that soon...) which was a tip and now is tidy and accessible.
I've tried to stay in as much as possible, although I did have my lunch in the shade of the yard (cooler than the house at that point) and I definitely feel much better. Not sure what to do about work tomorrow ( I'd already booked Friday off to spend the day with S and the kids ) - I think I'll take it as sick leave but dip surreptitiously in and out of the emails during the day. The weather is expected to break - and then heat up again for the weekend.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
One Of Those Nights
Yes - it really IS 4.45am. Just haven't been able to sleep.
I'd already decided that I wasn't going to Brum today or London tomorrow. During the day yesterday I felt progressively worse as the day went on - a horrible sort of sickness/fatique/lag thing. I've put it down to the heat - it was 32 degrees here yesterday. So I emailed work to say that I was off sick for the next two days. I'm entitled to do that aren't I?
But the not-sleeping wasn't to do with the heat or chemolag- I just couldn't get off. BBC World Service usually works - but not this time. I just felt restless and irritable. Then suddenly it was light so I thought I might as well get up. Writing this over a cup of tea in the kitchen. ( I'll spare you a picture...)
Just one of those nights I guess. I'll probably fall asleep on the sofa in a minute.
FOOTNOTE: ( 10.30 am ) - I did!
I'd already decided that I wasn't going to Brum today or London tomorrow. During the day yesterday I felt progressively worse as the day went on - a horrible sort of sickness/fatique/lag thing. I've put it down to the heat - it was 32 degrees here yesterday. So I emailed work to say that I was off sick for the next two days. I'm entitled to do that aren't I?
But the not-sleeping wasn't to do with the heat or chemolag- I just couldn't get off. BBC World Service usually works - but not this time. I just felt restless and irritable. Then suddenly it was light so I thought I might as well get up. Writing this over a cup of tea in the kitchen. ( I'll spare you a picture...)
Just one of those nights I guess. I'll probably fall asleep on the sofa in a minute.
FOOTNOTE: ( 10.30 am ) - I did!
Monday, July 17, 2006
A photographer, two artists and a patron
But who's who?
I love this shot from the weekend!
Bad night last night - up about six times with the bag. ( Yes - that's still there!) Feel pretty crap today.
J my counsellor gave me a copy of the Alan Bennett autobiography " Untold Stories". There's a brilliant section about his bowel cancer treatment - he describes his post-chemo feeling as like " taking a flight to Australia once a fortnight".
That's it exactly - I feel chemo-lagged...
I love this shot from the weekend!
Bad night last night - up about six times with the bag. ( Yes - that's still there!) Feel pretty crap today.
J my counsellor gave me a copy of the Alan Bennett autobiography " Untold Stories". There's a brilliant section about his bowel cancer treatment - he describes his post-chemo feeling as like " taking a flight to Australia once a fortnight".
That's it exactly - I feel chemo-lagged...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Post Dada II
A great weekend with Dada's Boys. From left to right - Graniers, Pickersgill Reef, Topsy Qur'et, Graniers' son Matt and Moi.All sorts of great moments and a superb exhibition but one moment that stands out is coming across Keith Farquhar taking some pictures of his own installation at the gallery. A nice man and a really striking piece. Pickersgill Reef took a great set of pictures for and with him.
On the Saturday night I took myself out for a nice meal (on friend C's recommendation - thanks it was great!) and spent Sunday morning wandering around Rose Street with my hat.
Side effects from the chemo? Not too bad really - bit sickly on Saturday night and a sore mouth but it didn't spoil my weekend. Certainly recognise the Supressed feeling though and am still thinking whether to go on with it. I'll have a proper think when I reach halfway in a fortnight's time.
Slightly tipsy in the hotel restaurant on Friday night, ( I agree with the reviewer about the food!) I scribbled this in my ipaq. I think I was thinking about options and chance:
Something is always going to kill you. Sooner or later. Now or Never. Cancer - sure - but That Driver? That Nutter? Walking on the pavement helps - but...
I shouldn't end this posting on a low note though! I've had a great weekend.
Friday, July 14, 2006
On My Way North!
I have forgiven them the plastic cup as the Chardonnay is perfect! This WILL be a good weekend!
Chemo Thirteen
Just back from Chemo XIII ( that's 13/30 or 43%..). Nothing more to say. Hard to go back to it.
Off to Edinburgh now!
Off to Edinburgh now!
post-dada
Some fine ( fine ) tuning from Topsy:
Dada's Boys - Identity and Play in Contemporary Art
at the Fruitmarket Gallery Edinburgh 27 May - 16 July 2006
Knut Asdam, Matthew Barney, John Bock, Roderick Buchanan, Marcel Duchamp, Keith Farquhar, Douglas Gordon, Martin Kippenberger, Jeff Koons, Sarah Lucas, Man Ray, Paul McCarthy, Lee Miller, Francis Picabia and Richard Prince.
Dada's Boys examines male identity as part of a post dada tradition, which was inaugurated most powerfully in scurrilous and iconoclastic gestures carried out in New York by Marcel Duchamp and Francis Picabia around 1916-1917.
Irreverent humour, self-consciously laddish repartee, preoccupation with taboo bodily processes, regression to infantile patterns of behaviour, dandyish concern with sartorial display and the wholesale questioning of traditional male attributes and roles, are some of the defining features of dadaist and post-dada art.
The exhibition begins with a small selection of historical touchstones for male dada attitudes in the form of typically succinct but incendiary provocations by Duchamp, Picabia and Man Ray. The bulk of the exhibition is then devoted to a more recent lineage of artists with demonstrable dada/surrealist sympathies who have continued to fashion a poetics of male subjectivity.
The exhibition seeks to move between the poles of male arrogance and insufficiency, eschewing a tone of pious political correctness for a more open-ended celebration of humorous self-reflexivity. The keynote for the exhibition is the sophisticated rudery and witty self-questioning that characterised dada at its best, and to which a major strand of contemporary art remains firmly committed.
A great evening of international and regional poetry up at the The Sage last night. ( Hah! Look at why they closed the carpark!) I really enjoyed it - J was reading some of the translations.
And suddenly this has become a long blog! I need to get on and knuckle down before the weekend! Working at home today and then chemo at 4.00...
Dada's Boys - Identity and Play in Contemporary Art
at the Fruitmarket Gallery Edinburgh 27 May - 16 July 2006
Knut Asdam, Matthew Barney, John Bock, Roderick Buchanan, Marcel Duchamp, Keith Farquhar, Douglas Gordon, Martin Kippenberger, Jeff Koons, Sarah Lucas, Man Ray, Paul McCarthy, Lee Miller, Francis Picabia and Richard Prince.
Dada's Boys examines male identity as part of a post dada tradition, which was inaugurated most powerfully in scurrilous and iconoclastic gestures carried out in New York by Marcel Duchamp and Francis Picabia around 1916-1917.
Irreverent humour, self-consciously laddish repartee, preoccupation with taboo bodily processes, regression to infantile patterns of behaviour, dandyish concern with sartorial display and the wholesale questioning of traditional male attributes and roles, are some of the defining features of dadaist and post-dada art.
The exhibition begins with a small selection of historical touchstones for male dada attitudes in the form of typically succinct but incendiary provocations by Duchamp, Picabia and Man Ray. The bulk of the exhibition is then devoted to a more recent lineage of artists with demonstrable dada/surrealist sympathies who have continued to fashion a poetics of male subjectivity.
The exhibition seeks to move between the poles of male arrogance and insufficiency, eschewing a tone of pious political correctness for a more open-ended celebration of humorous self-reflexivity. The keynote for the exhibition is the sophisticated rudery and witty self-questioning that characterised dada at its best, and to which a major strand of contemporary art remains firmly committed.
A great evening of international and regional poetry up at the The Sage last night. ( Hah! Look at why they closed the carpark!) I really enjoyed it - J was reading some of the translations.
And suddenly this has become a long blog! I need to get on and knuckle down before the weekend! Working at home today and then chemo at 4.00...
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Dada's Boys II
OK - just to explain a bit more.
Topsy Qur'et, Pickersgill Reef and Graniers are three guys I met on flickr. Topsy discovered that there was an exhibition of Dadaist work about on in Edinburgh called Dada's Boys and suggested we might like to go. So the visit this weekend was hatched. I managed to blag us some First Class Rail tickets to Edinburgh and so we're off there at the weekend. Actually I'm going up on Friday night to make a weekend of it and I'm meeting them there on Saturday.
Originally J was going to come too but her daughter B had got her tickets (as a birthday present) to the Latitude Festival at the same weekend so she's headed there.
My friend C ( who I met up with last week) has given me an extensive briefing on the best places to eat and drink in Edinburgh so it looks to be a great weekend!
Topsy Qur'et, Pickersgill Reef and Graniers are three guys I met on flickr. Topsy discovered that there was an exhibition of Dadaist work about on in Edinburgh called Dada's Boys and suggested we might like to go. So the visit this weekend was hatched. I managed to blag us some First Class Rail tickets to Edinburgh and so we're off there at the weekend. Actually I'm going up on Friday night to make a weekend of it and I'm meeting them there on Saturday.
Originally J was going to come too but her daughter B had got her tickets (as a birthday present) to the Latitude Festival at the same weekend so she's headed there.
My friend C ( who I met up with last week) has given me an extensive briefing on the best places to eat and drink in Edinburgh so it looks to be a great weekend!
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Sunny!
In Brum today - a quieter morning so I'm doing a quick bit of blogging from here. Beatiful sunny day!
So - to catch up:
I feel great at the moment! SO full of energy - and it's all down to missing that chemo session. I hadn't realised how much it suppresed/depressed me beyond the immediate weeekend after-effects. But it's so good to have "me" back. It's made me think again about whether I need the whole course of chemo ( you all know the arguments pro and con) and whether it's about time to re-assert some control over my life. Expect more on this. I won't make a hasty decision.
Out with friend S for a nice pub meal on Monday night. Good to catch up on lives and loves.
Workwise, we won that tender I had to schlep ( is that the spelling?) down to Chelmford for last week! I'm really chuffed - it's only £45k ( another £955k of my target to go then…) but it's a start and proves to me in a concrete way that I really do know how to do this stuff.
And finally, I must pay tribute ( I am not worthy) to the brilliant boyz ( David and Toby) from the Apple Store in Birmingham. I took the macbook in last night as when J was away with it it had started just cutting out. When that sort of thing happens, you begin to lose confidence. They were great - mortified that it had happened, gave me a new laptop no quibbling and spent the next two hours ensuring that all our files and stuff were properly migrated to the new lappy. How come they're SO good at customer care in those shops? Why can't other firms manage it? It can't just be down to training. They love the product, they know their stuff backwards and they seem genuinely keen to make sure that you enjoy using a mac as much as they do.
End of commercial. Better get back to work. Train home this afternoon.
So - to catch up:
I feel great at the moment! SO full of energy - and it's all down to missing that chemo session. I hadn't realised how much it suppresed/depressed me beyond the immediate weeekend after-effects. But it's so good to have "me" back. It's made me think again about whether I need the whole course of chemo ( you all know the arguments pro and con) and whether it's about time to re-assert some control over my life. Expect more on this. I won't make a hasty decision.
Out with friend S for a nice pub meal on Monday night. Good to catch up on lives and loves.
Workwise, we won that tender I had to schlep ( is that the spelling?) down to Chelmford for last week! I'm really chuffed - it's only £45k ( another £955k of my target to go then…) but it's a start and proves to me in a concrete way that I really do know how to do this stuff.
And finally, I must pay tribute ( I am not worthy) to the brilliant boyz ( David and Toby) from the Apple Store in Birmingham. I took the macbook in last night as when J was away with it it had started just cutting out. When that sort of thing happens, you begin to lose confidence. They were great - mortified that it had happened, gave me a new laptop no quibbling and spent the next two hours ensuring that all our files and stuff were properly migrated to the new lappy. How come they're SO good at customer care in those shops? Why can't other firms manage it? It can't just be down to training. They love the product, they know their stuff backwards and they seem genuinely keen to make sure that you enjoy using a mac as much as they do.
End of commercial. Better get back to work. Train home this afternoon.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Slow Day
So - Italy eh? What do I know?
A slow day here - woke up this morning with a blockage which finally cleared itself a few minutes ago. Nothing too serious, just a bit uncomfortable. Has made me grumpy.
I saw Dr C this morning. The infection seems to be clearing so I can probably restart chemo on Friday. Er..great.
I told her how good I'd felt over the weeekend without chemo and we rehearsed the usual " Is it 24 or 30 weeks ?" stuff. "Maybe 24 - we'll see how you are".
Ho hum. When they're ready to tell me they will. And when I've had enough of it and of them, I might just stop it anyway. But not yet.
( Told you I was grumpy...)
A slow day here - woke up this morning with a blockage which finally cleared itself a few minutes ago. Nothing too serious, just a bit uncomfortable. Has made me grumpy.
I saw Dr C this morning. The infection seems to be clearing so I can probably restart chemo on Friday. Er..great.
I told her how good I'd felt over the weeekend without chemo and we rehearsed the usual " Is it 24 or 30 weeks ?" stuff. "Maybe 24 - we'll see how you are".
Ho hum. When they're ready to tell me they will. And when I've had enough of it and of them, I might just stop it anyway. But not yet.
( Told you I was grumpy...)
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Lifted!
Just waiting for the World Cup Final to begin. France I reckon - but I know nothing.
It's been mostly a great weekend. Not having had chemo I feel SO much better - I don't realise how much it supresses me.
A good night out in Newcastle with C on Friday night. A couple of pints, a nice meal, great conversation and catch up a VERY expensive bottle of wine. Good to see him looking better.
Ordinary healthy hangover on Saturday morning and some family calls and a big shop to restock my freezer after the powercut last week.
Then, last night J came over and we had a great evening cooking thick steaks, watching DVDs and doing teccy things with the macbook ( which is playing up a bit - will try to get that sorted at the Apple Store on Tuesday ) and she said I looked really well too. Maybe it's not just the chemo, she said, maybe I'm really getting better.
And so to the match.
Working at home tomorrow - seeing Dr Coxon at 10.30 am for a chemo check up.
It's been mostly a great weekend. Not having had chemo I feel SO much better - I don't realise how much it supresses me.
A good night out in Newcastle with C on Friday night. A couple of pints, a nice meal, great conversation and catch up a VERY expensive bottle of wine. Good to see him looking better.
Ordinary healthy hangover on Saturday morning and some family calls and a big shop to restock my freezer after the powercut last week.
Then, last night J came over and we had a great evening cooking thick steaks, watching DVDs and doing teccy things with the macbook ( which is playing up a bit - will try to get that sorted at the Apple Store on Tuesday ) and she said I looked really well too. Maybe it's not just the chemo, she said, maybe I'm really getting better.
And so to the match.
Working at home tomorrow - seeing Dr Coxon at 10.30 am for a chemo check up.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Unlucky Thirteen
Back from Chelmsford late-ish last night - a good day and I think we did a good pitch for the work (We'll hear on Monday) - but a long day nonetheless.
Today at my desk at home and then down to Middlesbrough for a gossipy work lunch with a former colleague.
Then when I went along for what should have been Chemo XIII ( unlucky for some...) I mentioned a slight burning sensation I'd been getting when er... passing water. They did a test and I have a mild infection. Nothing to worry about - just a course of antibiotics over the weekend and see Dr Coxon on Monday, but it meant that they can't give me the chemo this week.
Actually, although it adds another week at the end, I'm quite pleased in a way. It'll be nice to have a non -grim weekend. Unless it's self-induced, of course - I'm going out for a drink and a meal in Newcastle tonight with old friend C...
Today at my desk at home and then down to Middlesbrough for a gossipy work lunch with a former colleague.
Then when I went along for what should have been Chemo XIII ( unlucky for some...) I mentioned a slight burning sensation I'd been getting when er... passing water. They did a test and I have a mild infection. Nothing to worry about - just a course of antibiotics over the weekend and see Dr Coxon on Monday, but it meant that they can't give me the chemo this week.
Actually, although it adds another week at the end, I'm quite pleased in a way. It'll be nice to have a non -grim weekend. Unless it's self-induced, of course - I'm going out for a drink and a meal in Newcastle tonight with old friend C...
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Heat Haze
It's a slightly misty morning back in Durham. SO Nice to be home again at last.A strange few days away. Lovely to see my mum ( see right - with Walty) but she's in a lot of pain with her sciatica and therefore not able to listen to my stuff at the moment. My stepfather G was the only person to really ask me unprompted how I was and how I was feeling.
The rest was a haze of heat and World Cup Football , my brother O's postmatch Barbecue, and the journey from hell in the car back from Birmingham last night. ( The aircon - which I paid £130 to have fixed the other day - still isn't working!). I think I got dehydrated at some point because I started feeling very odd - stopped and drank loads of water and felt better. I keep forgetting that at the moment I'm one of those people they keep warning to take care in the heat!
And I came home to discover that my power had gone off over the weekend and the contents of my freezer are slops...
No wonder I'm a bit befuddled as I face a day working at home. Actually, work itself has been fine - I feel engaged and capable with it. I just wish there wasn't so much travelling - I've just heard that I've got to go to Chelmsford on Thursday...
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